Don't forget to remember me.

Every so often, I stumble across an individual that completely changes everything. They have such an impact on me that years and years later, I still think about them often.
I met someone like that when I was 14. Years later, as an adult, I still appreciate the power of his words on a specific night and the person he helped me become from one conversation. On rare occasions, I meet someone that stops me on my tracks completely. 7 years later, that moment hasn't died. Most of my life before I was 18 has drifted away, but there are the select few that have endured time. This includes him.
We had a conversation one Friday night that completely turned my world upside down...I was going in one direction and turned around and went down a completely different road in terms of my life. I went home that night and knew things were never going to be the same after that. And I was right, and I have no regrets. I don't want to think about where my life would have gone had it not been for this person.
Not even 24 hours after this, I see him again in the mall parking lot as he's leaving. He said nothing...but came to me, hugged me for what seemed like forever, and got into his car. Neither of us said a word. That was the last time I saw him.
I tried many times to find him, but each attempt was a failed one.
Then, during my junior year in high school. I reconnected with a mutual friend of ours. Naturally, I had to ask about him. I find out that about a week before this, he got into a serious car accident, sustained a head injury, and lost his memory. He didn't recognize his family or close friends. I was disappointed to find that even if I did find him, thanking him and telling him he changed my life would mean nothing to him. He most likely would not recognize me. From there, I moved along and gave up my search.
Then, just days ago, I found him by accident! (Thank you, Facebook!)
Of course I had to send him a message, fully knowing there was that chance he may not remember me still. But I was willing to take that chance for the possibility of finally telling him everything I should have years ago.
But it still hurt more than I could have imagined when he told me he was sorry, but he had an accident a few years back and had no idea who I was. He asked me politely to please leave him be, as it hurts him more to try to rebuild past relationships with people he may never remember.
I wrote him a message that I never send. I told him how he stopped me from ruining my life. I wrote about how I became a better person after that. I told him that I took the advice that he gave me and haven't regretted a single moment of it. I reminded him that I was there with him the night Mike died...and no matter what, I'd never forget him. Then I erased him from my life forever.
From now on, whether they want to hear it or not, the people I love will know that they mean to me. I don't know that I ever want to put myself through this again-not telling someone exactly how I feel.

...so wait for me this time.

Time, where did you go?

It was like going back in time. I reconnected with a very important piece of my past-I hadn't seen him since I was 16, but it was like those years never happened. My hands were shaking, my heart was pounding-I felt like a teenager again. There was so much unfinished business, so many things left unspoken between us...it was amazing how he and I reconnected and went on like nothing happened. In another place and time, he and I would have been perfect for each other. But, that's life...

I hit a turning point in my life-I'm standing at the metaphorical fork in the road. It could not have been a better time for a vacation-some time to get away and think long and hard about where to go from here. I love the ocean. Everyone has that one place where they are truly at peace with themselves-the ocean does that for me. I sat on the beach this morning, drinking coffee and watching the sun come up... For the first time in a long time, my mind was clear. The chaos that's been swirling around in my head slowed down enough for me to make sense of it.

I finally know where to go next...